At one of my earlier office-places, I was tagged as an unfit personality for that particular work place. The tag had left a very memorable impression on me, which is why I felt like writing this down.
This place was renowned across the city, as a fun work space. The employees came dressed up very often and it was conveyed to the rest of the world via sharing pictures on all the social channels. However, I was that one person who avoided the camera at all costs. I did dress up, but was just hesitant to get clicked.
The CEO claimed in a close door meeting that I was an unfit person for that office. My ultimate supervisor did correct her, that my work performance was excellent regardless of the absence of a zeal to participate in group pictures.
For years I have struggled with making a lasting connection with the new people that I meet. Quite contrary to my presumption, it’s got more and more difficult as I’ve grown up.
My "Unfit" Personality :
I can't exactly pinpoint the time frame when my "unfit personality" started becoming a hindrance in developing lifelong relations with people.
As a school going child, I always felt like I had enough friends. I wasn’t the kind of kid who’d hang around with a bunch of kids and monopolise the favourite recess spot.
Yet, I did have friends. Pretty decent ones, in fact. And I've still got them by my side.
In the last couple years of schooling in my small hometown, I actually felt 'loneliness' for the first time. But it had to do with a lot of factors, combined. It was so much more than just another adolescent emotion, and a story for some other time.
The Impact of Social Media :
There’s one significant thing that’s popped up in every phase of my life since those years when I felt 'lonely'- the inability to decode the substitute to a digital social life (aka life in the 21st century).
Years have passed by since the selfie revolution took over the sanity of humans. Yet, it’s still very amusing to witness people hyperventilating at the very moment a camera is flashed at them.
It is everywhere- from youngsters having tea & snacks at the neighbourhood cigarette shop to their memorable trip on the Himalayas.
After all- clicking pictures has become the very definition of making memories.
The office wasn't the only place where I felt like I didn't belong. It happens each time when a group gets photographed and asks me to squeeze in. Either I'm too anxious, or it's the fact that it is not something I've yet accepted as a form of making memories.
I’ve been advised NUMEROUS TIMES by NUMEROUS PEOPLE to try to adapt to the places where I cannot seem to fit in.
Also Read: An Open Letter to My Indian Parents for If & When I Get Married
It’s possible that I do need to change some of my habits, and I try my best
Although, I cannot make myself change the core characteristics of my personality and I do not even want to.
I cannot make friends by just, ‘going out’. Yup, it’s true that perhaps they’re trying to connect with the likes of me, but come on again! What are the odds that either of us would just find each other there at the synchronised time!
Pretty sure they’re in their comfort zone somewhere doing whatever it is that makes them happy, just how I am doing right now.
I do not however feel like I need to be photographed in an office-setup to prove that I'm a fit person as long as my performance is good.
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