Television: Boon or Bane? Was TV Actually the Idiot Box?

If you grew up in a middle class family with one set of television placed in the living room, you would be pretty familiar with the term ‘idiot box’. Although, you might be surprised to know that the term Idiot Box had been coined in the 1950’s itself!

It amounted to the fact that the non-responsive television box was capable enough to deliver a bulk-load of information from every niche to the viewers. It did not specifically cater to one set of audience, but distributed the content without giving an authority to the set-owners of what it was capable of.

Parents who disliked the fact that their children could have access to every kind of information hated this concept of multiplicity of available options.

If you were an avid TV watcher as a child, you might be familiar with the irritability this term amounted to. The moment things would get interesting on the screen, elders would ask you to go do something else or the classic “just go study”!

These were some of the frequent arguments put forward by the elders to make us stop from watching TV:

• Television makes you dumb and stupid with it’s unscientific facts and stories.
• Television makes you unhealthy because you sit on the couch all day long!
• The idiot box will make you blind if you watch it for more than xx hours a day!
• It disturbs everyone in the house because of the loud noise,
• Your sibling needs to study for a test, you should let them concentrate.

I remember an incident from my childhood when I was arguing with my parents to watch television after 10PM because my brother didn’t let me watch my favourites during the day. To my surprise, they agreed.

I was disappointed when Popeye was soon taken over by the home-shopping advertisements, even on Cartoon Network! A great troll moment by the idiot box indeed!

Fast Forward to 2020, a Flashback to the Good Old Days Before the OTT/Streaming Era:

My paternal grandfather loved watching news. It was a pleasure to sit with him and watch cartoons occasionally. Tom & Jerry used to be his favourite! An otherwise serious man would laugh looking at it sometimes.

Whenever an elder would ask me to go switch it off because watching the idiot box would make me ‘dumb’, I would quickly switch over to the Discovery channel! It was a fun ride to get the elders on board to accompany me.

          

Well, those days are long gone. Families no longer have common TV time together. OTT has taken over the cheerful living room hours and very rapidly so.

Also Read: Could the Internet have Dealt Better with Mental Health Awareness After Sushant Singh Rajput's "Death"?

Sanju’s Magic Pencil gets Replaced with Apple Pencil:

Toddlers these days are well-equipped with adequacy when it comes to operating on a device. My youngest cousin knew how to skip the Youtube advertisements when she was a 3 year old. To my surprise, whenever I handed over the phone to her with a nursery rhyme video, she swiftly moved to videos of girls playing with their cooking set toys.

Back in the day, Sanju’s magic pencil was the must-have stationary item for us. Today, children do not want to own anything less than an Apple pencil. Their demands have to be met by the parents regardless of the necessity.

Implications of the Spread of OTT on the Eldest Members of the Family:

The spread of OTT, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in a big relief for the majority of us. The mass availability of cheap options to choose from is an extremely appreciated revolution.

However, the eldest generation of the house are the ones who didn’t approve of technology and its mass intervention in our lives initially. And they still happen to be the ones who are least accustomed to the trends.

They might be aware of what Netflix is, but ask them who Binod is, and they would probably wander off to their thoughts to think of a distinct relative that their hazy memory has no recollection of.

Desolation amongst the Elderly on Account of Unfamiliarity with Technology:

While each one of us has the liberty today to engage in our favourite content across various platforms, the eldest generation is not only devoid of that knowledge, but also happens to be increasingly irritated with the younger generations being so self-engaged.

And why wouldn’t they? Think of it this way: you have a fever and your eyes start to water if you stare at your phone/laptop screen for a while. The incessant sounds start to bother you and you can’t entertain yourself anymore while being in the bed.

Now your grandmother has started to lose her sight and hearing ability because of the natural aging process. She doesn’t mind resting all day. But would it not get lonely after a while when nobody in the house cares about it anymore?

Also Read: The Pandemic's Psychological Implications on Small Town People

The Self-Involved Generation:

For the last generations, children and grandchildren seem to have their limitless alternative worlds within screens. They often get so self-involved in a trend and with trying to keep up with it, that a lonely grandma in their own house doesn’t seem to bother their glued attention to the screens. And why would it? It’s so addictive after all!

The advent of technology is no doubt a blessing for us. But the tremendous amount of advancement means: one step ahead for us is yet another step backwards for those with a lack of will and ability to keep up with it.

It seems like no matter how different every individual was, television was the one thing common about family time but it has been taken away because of the OTT revolution. Everybody feels it’s more convenient to watch something personalised on their own screen, in their own rooms and comfort zones.

Hence, leaving the elderly generation as desolated from the rest of the tech-savvy generations.

What Can We Do Now?

For those of us under 35-40 years of age, TV is just another electronic appliance. For those above this age group, it was a revolution. Remember how excited every elder person in our house was when TV channels started re-airing Mahabharat and Ramayana?

It was initially because of the fact that the newer shittier soap operas couldn’t get produced anymore because of the lockdown. But it made them so happy!

The Dyanaro shutter TV was our home’s first set of television

The original first TV sets for every household have had a great emotional importance attached to them. Given that a television set was costly and could only reach households in the early 1980’s. 

My parents tell me that back in the days when television was a prized possession for a household, neighbours used to gather around the walls of the house with a set of television. It was basically enough to just hear the idiot box speak.

Reminisce with the elderly about the good old television days:

It’s always our generation’s number one complaint that we do not have anything in common with the older generations to sit and converse about. It’s not true! Had it not been for this smartphone/laptop in your hands… you would’ve been talking about things.

Find a moment to sit back with your grandparents and old parents to talk about their first TV moments. Very soon, you’re only gonna find this bit of information in books and chronicles written by authors. Not kidding!

• Did you know that most people recall their first TV moments with Indira Gandhi’s assassination?
• Hum Log, a beloved TV series determined the nicknames for most people born in the 1980’s and 1990’s.
• Yeh Jo Hai Zindgi, India’s first very own TV series, was very much relatable for almost the whole of India.
• Buniyaad, Katha Sagar, Nukkad and Malgudi Days were amongst others that used to be the favourite family pastimes.

Let them have a scoop of what the actors are up to now:

Just like you’re attached to Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Aniston, your grandparents would love to hear about the lives of their favourite TV stars. Give it a go, you might uncover a never seen before enthusiasm to connect with them!

You can also teach them how to stream their favourite TV shows on the smart TV’s or their rarely used smartphones. However, at that age it could be difficult for them to remember. Remind them from time to time or just do it yourself for them!

Also Read: Dealing With The Corona Virus Pandemic Anxiety

Did I miss out on something? Let me know about it in the comments section below. I’ll add it to the article!

Thanks for reading :) -That Candor Girl

Adjusting vs Adapting: Is there a Difference Between the Two?

At one of my earlier office-places, I was tagged as an unfit personality for that particular work place. The tag had left a very memorable impression on me, which is why I felt like writing this down.

This place was renowned across the city, as a fun work space. The employees came dressed up very often and it was conveyed to the rest of the world via sharing pictures on all the social channels. However, I was that one person who avoided the camera at all costs. I did dress up, but was just hesitant to get clicked.

The CEO claimed in a close door meeting that I was an unfit person for that office. My ultimate supervisor did correct her, that my work performance was excellent regardless of the absence of a zeal to participate in group pictures.

For years I have struggled with making a lasting connection with the new people that I meet. Quite contrary to my presumption, it’s got more and more difficult as I’ve grown up.

My "Unfit" Personality :

I can't exactly pinpoint the time frame when my "unfit personality" started becoming a hindrance in developing lifelong relations with people.

As a school going child, I always felt like I had enough friends. I wasn’t the kind of kid who’d hang around with a bunch of kids and monopolise the favourite recess spot.

Yet, I did have friends. Pretty decent ones, in fact. And I've still got them by my side.

In the last couple years of schooling in my small hometown, I actually felt 'loneliness' for the first time. But it had to do with a lot of factors, combined. It was so much more than just another adolescent emotion, and a story for some other time.

The Impact of Social Media :

There’s one significant thing that’s popped up in every phase of my life since those years when I felt 'lonely'- the inability to decode the substitute to a digital social life (aka life in the 21st century).

Years have passed by since the selfie revolution took over the sanity of humans. Yet, it’s still very amusing to witness people hyperventilating at the very moment a camera is flashed at them.

It is everywhere- from youngsters having tea & snacks at the neighbourhood cigarette shop to their memorable trip on the Himalayas. 

After all- clicking pictures has become the very definition of making memories.

The office wasn't the only place where I felt like I didn't belong. It happens each time when a group gets photographed and asks me to squeeze in. Either I'm too anxious, or it's the fact that it is not something I've yet accepted as a form of making memories.

I’ve been advised NUMEROUS TIMES by NUMEROUS PEOPLE to try to adapt to the places where I cannot seem to fit in.

Also Read: An Open Letter to My Indian Parents for If & When I Get Married

It’s possible that I do need to change some of my habits, and I try my best

Although, I cannot make myself change the core characteristics of my personality and I do not even want to.

I cannot make friends by just, ‘going out’. Yup, it’s true that perhaps they’re trying to connect with the likes of me, but come on again! What are the odds that either of us would just find each other there at the synchronised time!

Pretty sure they’re in their comfort zone somewhere doing whatever it is that makes them happy, just how I am doing right now.

I do not however feel like I need to be photographed in an office-setup to prove that I'm a fit person as long as my performance is good.

Liked that?

Great!

Stay in touch! :)

Could the Internet have Dealt Better with Mental Health Awareness After Sushant Singh Rajput's "Death"?

Sushant Singh Rajput, a perfect-in-every-sense celebrity "allegedly" commits suicide and what follows is an online nation-wide outcry on the internet. It was mostly about how humans need to be more kind, open and shall speak up about their mental health issues.

If you were one of those people who realised that they need to be a better friend and make amends to people that you weren't previously kind enough to, this article is for you.

The internet missed out on a very important point: having a clear reality check about all the possible outcomes that could emerge out of this. Do so within your own limits, knowing that your actions will not unintentionally lead to unfortunate, unpredictable, irreversible traumatic incidents, of course.

Know how much to do, when to do and where to stop. Do not indulge in anything that could create more problems.

How? To understand this you need to analyse circumstances. I'll try my best, but it goes way beyond the contents of this little post and my own emotional intelligence.

Why do people with deteriorating mental health have a hard time opening up about their issues?

People who do not speak up about their mental health often do so because of a fear, that they wouldn't be understood. It is impractical for us to expect these people to open up ALL OF A SUDDEN.

Perhaps they did try to speak out before. Maybe that is what led to even more trauma for them: the behavioural reactions of an unprepared, immature friend/colleague/family member.

Even if they do it, are you sure you're capable and strong enough to hear what they're going to unload Horrifying unheard stories can be traumatising for both people, the one who shares, and the one who listens to them for the first time.

Elaborating with an example ahead

(Sexual Harassment trigger warning)

Your cousin finally opens up to you about an old sexual harassment experience that they underwent. This was the very first time they've opened up. They could be shivering, they could be fumbling with words to speak up. All too much for you to process and understand. After all, you've never seen that side of them. While you try to politely listen, you realise that you didn't go through any of those horrifying experiences.

It makes complete sense if you have no clue about how to react.

But, your cousin might have had to collect immense amount of courage to speak up. So it's very natural for them to expect a reaction.

Also Read: Dealing With the Coronavirus Pandemic Anxiety in 2020

You'll be doing more harm than good, if the reaction comes out wrong or even as slightly insignificant. They will have to gather even more courage the next time they do it.

And here's another instance...

What if YOU have been a subject of a similar unfortunate incident yourselves? What if, YOU never got over it yourself? What if them confessing these things lands YOU in a dangerous situation, by triggering YOUR unresolved traumas?

Both of you would be shattered at once if it comes out unpredictably, right? Who would be responsible then?

Before promising all your support to your friends, please know that you are also allowed to create your boundaries. You're only human. Recommend a doctor if you feel very early on in the conversation that your help wouldn't be adequate in some particular matter.

Why not effectively raise our voice instead, to demand a strong mental health support system?

We all have little cousins who are undergoing trauma as we speak and repost things online. No amount of kindness can replace professional therapy.

Try to persuade your own families first, about how visiting a therapist does NOT make one mentally-ill. It's a long way to go from here, to the governments actually making this a priority: mass employment of psychologists and counsellors in every educational institute, right from kindergarten.

Isn't that what's the norm in the western world? Isn't that a way more effective way to do something about mental health, rather than risking something that might lead to a multiplicity of unfortunate incidents?

Every human is not equipped with a perfect balance of kindness, because every person has their own unresolved issues. Human psychology is really, really more complicated than one would think. You cannot have an answer to everything. What you can do is, normalise the trend in your own houses, schools and colleges first.

Also read: Fiction was my best friend as a child, but it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time...

Yeah, that's step one. Second would be, visiting your alma-mater's staff, principals, HODs to tell them that they HAVE TO employ a counsellor for the upcoming batches, no matter what.

If you wish your school/alma-mater had a mental health professional, sign this link.

I take pride in belonging to a school dedicated to girls. Sophia school was my alma-mater for all 14 years of my school life. My mother had to fight to get me & my sister admitted to a good institution. Yet, I believe.. this school wasn’t enough because you got home to a community that wasn’t the same.

I wish I had an early access to a mental health counsellor. It wouldn’t have rendered me feeling hopeless in the cruelest of phases when I knew I needed a doctor but didn’t know how and whom to reach out to.

My mother has been a government teacher for 25 years now. She tells me, government institutions do not have any posts/vacancies for psychologists. Understandable. How can the government find one good counsellor when there’s no availability of good subject teachers.

Private institutions MUST accept that a counsellor in every institution is the need of the hour. The more we delay this, the more broken generations we are raising up.

It’s a cycle. It won’t stop. Mental health professionals exist for a reason, after all.

I cannot go back to my school with this demand because I’m emotionally weak. I don’t know who I would be dealing with, how kind the person on the other end would be. I will however, help you if you wish to take a stand. I will help you out with everything that I’m good with (including writing a very strong-worded letter to my own alma-mater).

Social Media Sins: Blaming the Entire Sects of Communities Whenever Something Goes Wrong!

In light of the on-going Jat Reservation Agitation, here's an urgent appeal to everybody using social media: blaming entire sects of communities will not help! Please don't contribute towards spreading hate for the entire Jat community!

We're all equally angry about what happened in Harayana during the protests!

Now that the violence and riots are slowly starting to diminish, social media posts are wildly surfacing targeting Jats for the violence. Before sharing any such content, make sure you know the entire truth before spreading it like wildfire!

There are posts with downright disrespect towards a certain community. Don't be a fool and believe only what's shown to you. It leads to inter-caste hatred and that is the last thing our nation needs right now!

1. Every person hailing from the community does not support riots

Every Jaat was not involved in triggering vandalism. Some are as unhappy as the rest of the country. Stop sharing any content that disrespects a certain community that's in news for a controversy.

Things can turn very ugly if this doesn't stop right here. A very large part of the community everybody's spitting hate about is a part of the Indian Armed Forces that protects every Indian day and night from foreign forces. So, obviously they're gonna feel bad coming across collective hate, right?

2. Every rioter was definitely not a Jat

India has a lot of frustrated youth that take up to hooliganism every chance they get. Why? To just release their tensions! There are cases where Jat youth collected and acted as security for not letting any outsiders enter and ruin THEIR city, irrespective of the communities that reside in it.

A jat dharmashala has been destroyed in Jhajjar district and obviously the jat community cannot be behind this, ruining their very own property! Other groups WERE INVOLVED. Specially political fear-mongers of the country.

If you've shared any such content, please remove it ASAP and do not contribute in creating a further divide between communities. Don't draw conclusions based on the very obvious that's fed to you.

Media and the political parties are also trying to give this a whole new direction altogether:

1. the 'non-jat Chief Minister- Manohar Lal Khattar' angle,
2. comparison between communities by ONLY mentioning the sikh and other help groups, and
3. being totally ignorant towards how some jaat-groups have also aided the affected people and places.

These issues are more sensitive than you think. With such widely spread and used social media, there's an urgent need to take such posts down. What happened was wrong but have faith in democracy and our judiciary. Those who are responsible will be made to pay for it.. whether jats or non-jats.

Please do not take these sensitive issues lightly!

Also Read: Educated Indian Youth Openly Support Vandalised Protests in Favour of Reservation