There's Nothing Like You & I...

When we truly commit ourselves to somebody, we do not allow ourselves to find perfection in someone else. And when the one we've committed ourselves to, isn't anywhere next to being a perfect match, that is where the trouble starts. It isn't even like we can blame them, right? Because, perhaps they never cross-signed for any of that shit like we did. Yes that is just what it is. A cycle of crap that nobody but we cajole ourselves into.

As for all the other cliches, I'd swore I'd never put it this way. But the pills I admit, taste less bitter. The broken glass fits, oddly a little perfectly. It's been forever, they say.. since they saw me sociable or jovial. While the birds leave their trees everyday and the sun lits up those tar-black highways, I stay here like I was the dusk before, and before. And I'll be here, til I make it a little less hard on myself. I gotta, I gotta get up. Because there's nothing like you and me. There won't ever be. There is no you and me. It's just you, and me. I wish to fall asleep, and dream, dream that I'll wake up and you won't be here. In my head and in my thoughts.

I learnt to never lift my crest-fallen gaze from the damned floor. Made it a habit to not raise the fucking gaze for it wasn't good enough to make you believe it was unadulterated. Made sure to be there for you but all I got were REPEATED nasty inklings. It was a disease, you said. We were young, you couldn't get yourself to care enough to see it. Has it gone, has it? How can you still not care? What you say, tells me nothing. What's the truth? Give me something! Talk some sense to me? Something that tells me I wasn't any of those things you said. Something that makes me see, the me that I am, and not the on that you made believe I am, a little more clarity here in my lunatic mind is all I ask for. Can I please.. for one last time?

Not til I am willing again, to surrender myself again, you say. You can't pull me outta this self-built misery, you say. Lest I admit to be willing to fall in even more ardently, profoundly. You ask me to separate myself, from what's persuading me to relinquish. And I say, it's no use.. the truce. It's like a spell, why don't you see? They're in my head & in my heart. The things you said. And you're not here to take them back. It's all become too much and all those words we exchanged, is it any wonder things got broke, to never be the same, to never be as magical as they used to be.? This brawling love hurts, it hurts me more than yesterday. Only the heartaches have given me the true sight and it's what I've come to figure out now. These aches you've began fancying; for they bring me to you. I gotta tell you, I've been using you as nothing more than a warning sign. And there never is going to be a first-light, when you'll get to rapt me again.

I never thought I could, but I miss the crap more than I ever thought I would.  It's dark enough to be able to see.. but not enough concealing to not let it hurt. So this is what I oughta do now. I'll swim through the darkest waters.. read through a zillion books.. to keep myself from crying my guts out right now. I know I'll never find those rusty-brown eyes amidst all the others I'll see. I long to hear your voice. But still I make the choice. The choice of becoming a shadow of your thoughts of me. Decisions, decisions are what I've come to angst the most, but this one- I'm so sure about. I hadn't been all this while, but hey now I am. Need not ask me to slow down, you don't need to worry now for you didn't when it would've helped, helped me to not become this dreadful being that I am now. I know it-I know it, I can tell it won't hurt that way, So I'll do it regardless of what you've been saying all this while. The good girl, there's nothing like a good, good girl you were looking for a good girl. You won't find her not here not again not in me.

The ONE Reason Why Tina Dabi (2015 UPSC Topper) Isn't My 'Perfect' Role Model

(I’m just going to use Tina Dabi's example to elaborate upon a crucial point here, this article is NOT a hate post on her. I have time and again come across the laudable dedication she has towards her work).

While most of us feel that caste based reservation system in some way or the other is serving a good purpose, I'll tell you why I don't feel the same taking up over a multiple examples. Excluding the general category backwardness, because everyone talks about that enough!

The reason why Tina Dabi isn’t the ‘perfect’ role model for me:

A person got qualified into IIM/ IIT or any other top institutes because of reservation (or, in this case Tina Dabi’s parents). She/ he/ they manage to become a successful doctor/ lawyer/ engineer/ civil servant.

Now who is going to make sure that this man/woman doesn't reuse this policy to help his son/daughter (Tina Dabi, in this scenario) secure a seat in these institutions using that very same ‘social-upliftment’ quota again?

Let’s consider a real example I’ve picked up from my own life:

The man who cleans up my neighbourhood belongs to a lower caste. His ancestors cleaned our neighbourhood, and so will his offsprings (well I hope not).

Does he not want the welfare of his coming generations? Is it because he is not interested in educating his children, or somebody else from his entire community won’t let him?

When he decides that he'll get his children into a nice institution, he knows that he won't be able to provide his children with the best available study material required to crack any such entrance examination, provided his economic condition. He somehow still tries.

Now his children try to avail the benefits of the reservation system, that was introduced to serve this very purpose. But how will they compete with the children of rich ST/SC people who have the right to avail the same benefits but have got an upper hand in additional access to resources?

There should be a limit as to how many generations of a particular family need upliftment to be socially acceptable. Otherwise it’s all just a facade, right?

Isn't this unfair to the low economic background people hailing from ST/SC? They are still being ill-treated, while the rich ST/SC (Tina Dabi and her family, in this case) are continuing to benefit. Isn't this creating more divides within their own caste now, instead of breaking barriers with the outside castes?

Some other instances where I feel the current caste based reservation system doesn't do justice:

1. The religion based reservation:

Some backward castes of muslims get reservation under the OBC category. There are some classes in Sikh/Parsi/Jew religions classified as OBC, but their proportion however, as compared to the largest minority (muslims) and the majority (Hindus) is far less.

I am sure that these communities get enough perks by their own society in however ways possible (separate dedicated institutions religion and community wise).

But is there a check that these groups that equally deserve reservation don't get cheated when it comes to collective strategy for upliftment? My knowledge on this particular issue is quite low. Please let me know about it in the comments section below.

2. Prevalence of mental depression ONCE the seat IS secured:

Few days back a friend from an NIT mentioned about the increasing number of drug addicts in his campus. Most of these hailing from the ST/SC group. The conclusion that he stated behind their addiction was: the embarrassment faced by these students once they got in because of reservation, but realising it only after that they can't live up to the standards of that institution.

Clearly, they fail to make the most out of their education. Now the question I have is, who is accountable for these depressed souls and the lost seats? Who is accountable for the talent this nation lost when deserving applicants were denied admission into top institutions?

3. Update to 2020: Modi government introduces an additional 10% Economically Weaker Section quota:

I felt that this very demand was wrong before, I feel it is wrong now. We live in a highly corrupted society. It isn't difficult to forge documents that falsely prove that you are backward. Most of the people utilising and procuring seats under the flawed Creamy Layer OBC quota were already doing so!

(Some people from my very own community do it, so I know how easy that is!)

Basically, we are paying for the mis-deeds of our ancestors

My point here is, the reservation system was introduced in newly independent India for the upliftment in the social status of the classes that were ill-treated for centuries in the Indian subcontinent.

On a lighter note, is it justified when I say that Britishers looted and plundered my country's resources for more than 200 years and created more opportunities for themselves, so I as the next generation Indian deserve a reservation in UK?

Has any ruling party or political group ever looked into the issue and actually assessed what percent of disadvantaged actually benefit from this system?

Some resources:

A DU student from Deshbandhu College sets himself on fire

Mandal Commission protests of 1990

Do people of this generation actually bother about castes?

At least in my own circle of friends and acquaintances, NO. We don't make new connections while interacting with others based on this factor AT ALL. It doesn't even come up in the conversations somehow. There's loads of other interesting stuff to talk about!

Yet, we somehow despite those who utilise their quotas. Sometimes intentionally, and sometimes NOT. But this hatred towards certain communities is quite evident all around us.

I would love to hear about your views and experiences on this very subject! (Your cue to proceed to the comment section below)

To sum it up, Tina Dabi could've done more as a privileged educated LSR(DU) pass-out

Why not I mean. She had been a meritorious student way before she cracked UPSC! I understand that this debate could could go on forever and yet remain inconclusive. But why is the public made to suffer because of vote-bank politics?

The number of reserved seats currently is 49.5% (2020 update: 59.50%). It is very clear that no political party wants to lose this 50% (now 60%) vote-bank by allowing amendments in this system. 

To put an end to the misery of the suffering students, the well-off ST/SC/OBC have to take an initiative by not letting themselves get fooled by this politics. At least if social benefit is their reason to opt for civil services.

How? By rejecting the undeserved birth-based privilege we have to secure a seat in our dream institute. Not a single rich or well-off family from my very own community is doing so. Not even a great civil servant like Tina Dabi could do it.

If not us, who will take an initiative? Certainly not the government.

Let me know about your experiences and opinions about this subject! I'd love to indulge in meaningful debates with the readers!

The 7 Best and Most Affordable Eating Points in North Campus, Delhi University

First and foremost, congratulations to all of you guys who made it to your dream colleges finally! You've worked hard not just in your boards, but you successfully managed to go through with that tiresome and confusing admission procedure.

It takes a lot of patience to successfully get that golden admission receipt in your hands at the end of the day, and you made it til here! Wheee-hee!

Now, that you're finally a student at Delhi University, AND an outstation one like me.. you'll see how difficult and bothersome it might get at times to manage your diet and meals with your unlimited food cravings and limited monthly allowance!

One simply cannot afford the Big Yellow Door and QD's at Hudson Lane every single day, eh?

To spare you the trouble, here's a list of the 7 best and most affordable eating points in North Campus-

• Chache Di Hatti, Kamla Nagar

Located in the midst of hustle and bustle of the market, you might have to stand in queues (Ladies ki line alag hai, bhaisaab!) to get your plate of out-of-the-world Chole-Bhatura stuffed with Aloo, and just the right mix of spices, for just Rs 35/-!

How good is that? Wait til you actually have it and see for yourselves.

• Ved Dhaba, Malka Ganj

This vintage-styled resto-cum-dhaba is loved by students and local residents alike for very obvious reasons.

Quick service, friendly staff and AIR-COOLERS with no service tax! You can get yourselves a plate of mouth watering paneer butter masala, butter naan and bundi raita under Rs 200, sufficient for 3 adults.

• Chowringhee Rolls, Kamla Nagar

You must've heard of this one even if you're not a DU student. Try their veg roll (@Rs 40) and chilly paneer roll (@Rs 90).

But again, long queues of hungry college peeps! And it's totally worth it, trust me!

• Bistro 57, Kamla Nagar

Economical, hygienic. A small shop in a lane besides MacD, this place is famous amongst all the campus students.

It offers a quick relief from the extremely hot weather with its affordable and luscious sundaes, ice-cream sodas, shakes and coolers. My personal fav- Brownie Fudge Sundae.

• Tom Uncle Maggi Point, Near Ramjas College

Oregano Maggi, anyone? With over 2 dozen more varieties of our favourite snack, served @Rs 40/- per plate, this place is a must visit.

This place first opened up in 1978 and has been around ever since!

• D-School Canteen, Delhi School of Economics

Don't miss the dosa and cold coffee served here. They also serve thali which is reasonably priced at just twenty five rupees. The only downside is that it is always crowded and you might not find a seat for yourself.

You don't even have to be a D-School student to eat here! 

• DDA Market, Hudson Lane

This is my personal favourite. For those 2 months when we didn't have food or tiffin facility at our PG, this place was our blessing in disguise. Here's what you must try-

1. Suresh Tea Stall: Aaloo-pyaaz parantha, Paneer parantha, Chilly Potato, all varieties of paneer veggies.
2. Kaveri: Veg Thali, yum!
3. Prince Chinese: Veg Paneer Momos.

Thank me later, and go have the time of your lives ya'll!

Also Read: The ONE Reason Why Tina Dabi (2015 UPSC Topper) Isn't My 'Perfect' Role Model