Wondering where you've stumbled?

I've been blogging here since 2015. A place where I let go of my thoughts. A place where I do not overthink and just let it all out. I've been documenting my journey from when I was an anxious teenager to trying to become a confident adult, comfortable in her skin with every day that goes by.

I hope something here resonates with you, your old self.. or the one you're becoming :)

Thanks for dropping by!

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The ONE Reason Why Tina Dabi (2015 UPSC Topper) Isn't My 'Perfect' Role Model

(I’m just going to use Tina Dabi's example to elaborate upon a crucial point here, this article is NOT a hate post on her. I have time and again come across the laudable dedication she has towards her work).


While most of us feel that caste based reservation system in some way or the other is serving a good purpose, I'll tell you why I don't feel the same taking up over a multiple examples. Excluding the general category backwardness, because everyone talks about that enough!

The reason why Tina Dabi isn’t the ‘perfect’ role model for me:

A person got qualified into IIM/ IIT or any other top institutes because of reservation (or, in this case Tina Dabi’s parents). She/ he/ they manage to become a successful doctor/ lawyer/ engineer/ civil servant.

Now who is going to make sure that this man/woman doesn't reuse this policy to help his son/daughter (Tina Dabi, in this scenario) secure a seat in these institutions using that very same ‘social-upliftment’ quota again?

Let’s consider a real example I’ve picked up from my own life:

The man who cleans up my neighbourhood belongs to a lower caste. His ancestors cleaned our neighbourhood, and so will his offsprings (well I hope not).
Does he not want the welfare of his coming generations? Is it because he is not interested in educating his children, or somebody else from his entire community won’t let him?
When he decides that he'll get his children into a nice institution, he knows that he won't be able to provide his children with the best available study material required to crack any such entrance examination, provided his economic condition. He somehow still tries.

Now his children try to avail the benefits of the reservation system, that was introduced to serve this very purpose. But how will they compete with the children of rich ST/SC people who have the right to avail the same benefits but have got an upper hand in additional access to resources?
There should be a limit as to how many generations of a particular family need upliftment to be socially acceptable. Otherwise it’s all just a facade, right?
Isn't this unfair to the low economic background people hailing from ST/SC? They are still being ill-treated, while the rich ST/SC (Tina Dabi and her family, in this case) are continuing to benefit. Isn't this creating more divides within their own caste now, instead of breaking barriers with the outside castes?

Some other instances where I feel the current caste based reservation system doesn't do justice:

1. The religion based reservation:

Some backward castes of muslims get reservation under the OBC category. There are some classes in Sikh/Parsi/Jew religions classified as OBC, but their proportion however, as compared to the largest minority (muslims) and the majority (Hindus) is far less.

I am sure that these communities get enough perks by their own society in however ways possible (separate dedicated institutions religion and community wise).

But is there a check that these groups that equally deserve reservation don't get cheated when it comes to collective strategy for upliftment? My knowledge on this particular issue is quite low. Please let me know about it in the comments section below.

2. Prevalence of mental depression ONCE the seat IS secured:

Few days back a friend from an NIT mentioned about the increasing number of drug addicts in his campus. Most of these hailing from the ST/SC group. The conclusion that he stated behind their addiction was: the embarrassment faced by these students once they got in because of reservation, but realising it only after that they can't live up to the standards of that institution.

Clearly, they fail to make the most out of their education. Now the question I have is, who is accountable for these depressed souls and the lost seats? Who is accountable for the talent this nation lost when deserving applicants were denied admission into top institutions?

3. Update to 2020: Modi government introduces an additional 10% Economically Weaker Section quota:

I felt that this very demand was wrong before, I feel it is wrong now. We live in a highly corrupted society. It isn't difficult to forge documents that falsely prove that you are backward. Most of the people utilising and procuring seats under the flawed Creamy Layer OBC quota were already doing so!

(Some people from my very own community do it, so I know how easy that is!)

Basically, we are paying for the mis-deeds of our ancestors

My point here is, the reservation system was introduced in newly independent India for the upliftment in the social status of the classes that were ill-treated for centuries in the Indian subcontinent.
On a lighter note, is it justified when I say that Britishers looted and plundered my country's resources for more than 200 years and created more opportunities for themselves, so I as the next generation Indian deserve a reservation in UK?
Has any ruling party or political group ever looked into the issue and actually assessed what percent of disadvantaged actually benefit from this system?

Some resources:

Do people of this generation actually bother about castes?

At least in my own circle of friends and acquaintances, NO. We don't make new connections while interacting with others based on this factor AT ALL. It doesn't even come up in the conversations somehow. There's loads of other interesting stuff to talk about!

Yet, we somehow despite those who utilise their quotas. Sometimes intentionally, and sometimes NOT. But this hatred towards certain communities is quite evident all around us.

I would love to hear about your views and experiences on this very subject! (Your cue to proceed to the comment section below)

To sum it up, Tina Dabi could've done more as a privileged educated LSR(DU) pass-out

Why not I mean. She had been a meritorious student way before she cracked UPSC! I understand that this debate could could go on forever and yet remain inconclusive. But why is the public made to suffer because of vote-bank politics?

The number of reserved seats currently is 49.5% (2020 update: 59.50%). It is very clear that no political party wants to lose this 50% (now 60%) vote-bank by allowing amendments in this system. 

To put an end to the misery of the suffering students, the well-off ST/SC/OBC have to take an initiative by not letting themselves get fooled by this politics. At least if social benefit is their reason to opt for civil services.
How? By rejecting the undeserved birth-based privilege we have to secure a seat in our dream institute. Not a single rich or well-off family from my very own community is doing so. Not even a great civil servant like Tina Dabi could do it.
If not us, who will take an initiative? Certainly not the government.

Let me know about your experiences and opinions about this subject! I'd love to indulge in meaningful debates with the readers!

Monday, July 18, 2016

The 7 Best and Most Affordable Eating Points in North Campus, Delhi University

First and foremost, congratulations to all of you guys who made it to your dream colleges finally! You've worked hard not just in your boards, but you successfully managed to go through with that tiresome and confusing admission procedure.

It takes a lot of patience to successfully get that golden admission receipt in your hands at the end of the day, and you made it til here! Wheee-hee!

Now, that you're finally a student at Delhi University, AND an outstation one like me.. you'll see how difficult and bothersome it might get at times to manage your diet and meals with your unlimited food cravings and limited monthly allowance!

best affordable places to eat at for affordable tasty food in north campus delhi university

One simply cannot afford the Big Yellow Door and QD's at Hudson Lane every single day, eh?

To spare you the trouble, here's a list of the 7 best and most affordable eating points in North Campus-

Located in the midst of hustle and bustle of the market, you might have to stand in queues (Ladies ki line alag hai, bhaisaab!) to get your plate of out-of-the-world Chole-Bhatura stuffed with Aloo, and just the right mix of spices, for just Rs 35/-!

How good is that? Wait til you actually have it and see for yourselves.

  • Ved Dhaba, Malka Ganj

This vintage-styled resto-cum-dhaba is loved by students and local residents alike for very obvious reasons.

Quick service, friendly staff and AIR-COOLERS with no service tax! You can get yourselves a plate of mouth watering paneer butter masala, butter naan and bundi raita under Rs 200, sufficient for 3 adults.

  • Chowringhee Rolls, Kamla Nagar

You must've heard of this one even if you're not a DU student. Try their veg roll (@Rs 40) and chilly paneer roll (@Rs 90).

But again, long queues of hungry college peeps! And it's totally worth it, trust me!

  • Bistro 57, Kamla Nagar

Economical, hygienic. A small shop in a lane besides MacD, this place is famous amongst all the campus students.

It offers a quick relief from the extremely hot weather with its affordable and luscious sundaes, ice-cream sodas, shakes and coolers. My personal fav- Brownie Fudge Sundae.

  • Tom Uncle Maggi Point, Near Ramjas College

Oregano Maggi, anyone? With over 2 dozen more varieties of our favourite snack, served @Rs 40/- per plate, this place is a must visit.

This place first opened up in 1978 and has been around ever since!

  • D-School Canteen, Delhi School of Economics

Don't miss the dosa and cold coffee served here. They also serve thali which is reasonably priced at just twenty five rupees. The only downside is that it is always crowded and you might not find a seat for yourself.

You don't even have to be a D-School student to eat here! 

  • DDA Market, Hudson Lane

This is my personal favourite. For those 2 months when we didn't have food or tiffin facility at our PG, this place was our blessing in disguise. Here's what you must try-
  1. Suresh Tea Stall: Aaloo-pyaaz parantha, Paneer parantha, Chilly Potato, all varieties of paneer veggies.
  2. Kaveri: Veg Thali, yum!
  3. Prince Chinese: Veg Paneer Momos.

Thank me later, and go have the time of your lives ya'll!

Also Read: The ONE Reason Why Tina Dabi (2015 UPSC Topper) Isn't My 'Perfect' Role Model

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

A Nightmarish Reality

Losing a person as young as you, who grew up as your shadow, but now is in a place that's far away from you. Sleepless nights, and if any sleep at all, visions where you see them again, outlandishly terrorized of what has happened to them. Whispering your name, asking you to have a look at their moist wounds, to help them tell everybody it's not for real, and that they are coming back to everybody who is already mourning their premature departure.

And then that drifting away til they finally dissolve in hazy air that appeared out of nowhere, arm out-stretched as far as they can to not let go of that one last grip, which will be all that you're going to remember. How you couldn't hold them close to you when you had that chance.


You try your best to picture how would have that 9-year-old bubbly-beautiful girl with short hair and bright eyes turned out to be after her adolescent years. How would she look like if she were with you today, after 10 years of her demise? You try your best but only find yourselves desperately looking for inklings from their siblings, parents and yourselves, failing desolately.

When you think about the relationship you used to share and what possible difference, if any could've 10 years made. If they would've graduated from the same school as you, be living in the same city as you. If they'd have grown up to become a person with same philosophical ideology as yours. Shared similar avocations as yours.


Death leaves a headache so fragile that it never really goes away, but is always there reminding you of its actuality. A heart so heavy and a depression that rises in your throat, pounding hard inside, leaving your heart wrenching in waves of turmoil. That first time you see them so pale, so cold, that's the last you'll ever get to see of them again. That'll be how you're going to remember them for the rest of your life. A vivacious soul that went to sleep, eternally. That girl with captivating persona who turned pale, inanimate.

Isn't it the most painful kind of death when you have to bear with the mourning in your heart for even longer than the days of their life?