"Does One Have To Be Good At Everything?" -The Lockdown Social Media Misery

A question that bugs me a lot. I know that enough has been said and written about this already, but why can’t this stop bothering me?

The Lockdown and Social Media Misery

"Help! I can't cook & I don't even want to!"

I’m not a good cook. I might become one, I just don’t try. Cooking isn’t something that fascinates me unless I have to cook to serve my appetite in the middle of the night.

And even in the middle of the night, if I’m not in my hometown under the watch of my parents (who just want their children to be self-dependent), I will only cook when I’m broke.

Also Read: The 7 Best and Most Affordable Eating Points in North Campus, DU

When the lockdown started, people were giving all sorts of cuisines a try because our generation has been spoilt by the likes of Zomato & Swiggy. It isn’t exciting to have the same old set of nutrients in a wholesome meal every single day, so we need exciting stuff in our lives.

And food does that for most of us.

Ron Swanson: everyone's spirit animal when it comes to foooooood

What was I doing during the lockdown? I was feeling sorry about my lazy ass for not helping my lockdown companions enough in the kitchen. I would compensate somehow by cleaning the utensils or doing some other (less culinary skills based) tasks, but the regret sure made me feel inferior to the rest of the humans across the planet (who made sure to let us know about their excellent cooking skills via social media).

"Do I even qualify as a girl if I'm not into fashion/makeup/photos?!?"

Same goes for the fact that I didn’t have any mesmerising throwback pictures to post on my social accounts. If anything, I started to look more like a hobo. Oh I still do look like a hobo.

Thanks to social media, I also couldn’t help but question my self worth as a girl more and more each day.

I didn’t paint my nails once during the lockdown. And why would I, when this was something I’d hardly do before all of this began? And I doubt if I even had about 15 days in this lockdown that would count as ‘self-care’, externally. If anything, I oiled my head even less than I would on normal days.

I still go days without actually looking at myself in the mirror (yeah, sad right?)

"Will I have something good to talk about by the time we walk out of this catastrophe?"

Everyone I know started doing something or the other as a hobby, timepass and productivity booster.

I believe that I did take some care of myself internally, but it wasn’t enough compared to what everyone else was doing. I couldn’t keep up with my yoga practice, and I failed miserably when it came to meditation or communicating with people (even with my own family).

I did learn some new skills. Check this out for instance: Music Playlist Curation

"I lost my job, what do I do?"

Before all of this had begun, I had a decent plan to shift from freelancing to working in a promising industry. Sadly, this industry was directly related to social gatherings. The plan not only failed, I also was so nervous that I couldn't muster enough courage to even talk to my potential employer about the situation.

I kept delaying 'the talk' for months (including the fact that I had to collect a payment from him). It was a major buzzkill for my mood and professional growth.

Social media was full of memes for people distressed because of WFH. I felt so, so bad that I didn't even have a job anymore.

Also Read: Was Television Really The Idiot Box?

How I planned to resolve this tricky situation:

All of this could've been avoided if I simply just left social media, right? Well, I didn't want to!

I needed it to interact with my friends and family. Man is a social animal afterall.

All of us wish that the pandemic gets over soon and we can move back to our old lives where social media wasn't the place where we interact with people the most. 

But sadly, even if the pandemic was somehow over, its impact is here to stay in our lives.

Like all people, I wish I could be confident enough to easily let go off of my disturbing thoughts. While I try to indulge in the hobbies that I love, I am also learning how to take care of my mental health while being on internet.

(Tap on the image to be redirected to the source:
6 ways to protect your mental health from social media’s dangers)

I made separate accounts for separate moods as one step towards self-care. Like, if I'm in a mood to feel creative and not be bothered by the amazing personal lives of people I know, I go to my creative account. If I'm in a mood to catch up with my closest friends, I go to my finsta. If I'm in a mood to rant, I go to Twitter.

If you've found yourself in the same boat as me- moody and depressed because of social media... you could give this thing a try too! It's all about sorting your social media platforms as per how they make you feel.

What you see affects what you feel. It works to separate yourself from what makes you feel bad.

How do you resolve this?

Let me know about your tips and tricks. It's always good to connect with like-minded people, provided it's over texts and comments (because of my social anxiety hahahahah).

Thanks for reading!

Factual Reasons to Mandate Mental Health Counsellors in Every Indian School

According to an estimate by the World Health Organisation (WHO), mental illness makes about 15% of the total disease conditions around the world. Also, in 2011, there were 0·301 psychiatrists and 0·047 psychologists for every 100,000 patients suffering from a mental health disorder in India!

That's disturbing, right? Wait till you read more!

According to a report by The Lancent:

(one of the world's oldest and best-known general medical journals)

• China and India are home to more than a third of people with mental illness, but only a tiny fraction of them receive medical help,
• There are more people in the world’s two most populous nations coping with mental, neurological and substance use problems than in all high-income countries combined,
• That burden will become much heavier in coming decades, especially in India, where it is projected to increase by a quarter by 2025

The stigma associated with mental health problems in the two countries also impacts on employment opportunities and therefore the social economic status of families, compounding social inequalities for those with mental health and substance use disorders.

Some red flags with our current policies:

• Less than one per cent of national healthcare budgets in India is allocated to mental health care
• Estimates suggest that by 2025, 38.1m years of healthy lives in India will be lost mental health diseases
• From 2015 to 2025, it is estimated that the number of healthy years lost due to dementia will increase by 82% in India 

(Source)

Channelising the National Outrage Systematically:

When Sushant Singh Rajput's death caused a whirlwind of national outrage over the lack of addressal mechanism for mental health in India, I dug up the following data:

In 2008, CBSE had circulated a guideline amongst every affiliated school's Head of Institute to hire a mental health counsellor within their premises (here's the link from their official website: 2008 Guideline)

This move was accelerated based on a suggestion by the Raghavan Committee's Report constituted by the Hon’ble Supreme Court of India (in SLP No. 24295 of 2006) to put an end to bullying and its consequences on young children.

In 2015, there was yet another guideline for the same purpose. However, due to extreme administrative negligence, this was not given enough limelight by the schools.

In light of the outrage over mental health being considered a taboo by majority of the nation even today, I am requesting the government to intervene immediately and make this guideline mandatory.

It is NOT plausible for India to ignore the mental health crisis looming on our head anymore

There have been enough debates about what causes mental illnesses amongst humans. Science has given us enough research to conclude that a mental illness is as grave as a physical injury. Then why do we not have a basic mental healthcare infrastructure in place already?

Some important points to note:

• Bullying and harassment are not the only leading causes of stress, anxiety and mental health issues amongst youngsters.
• In case of a crisis, students and adults are not equipped with a proper knowledge as to how and whom to approach for resolving the crisis.
• Lack of awareness regarding the difference between a counsellor, psychologist and psychiatrist leads to more problems because of the commercialisation of the healthcare industry.

Mental Illness is as grave as a physical injury:

Here's how to become an even better nation by allowing our future generations to grow in a healthy environment by educating them about mental health from childhood onwards. We need to borrow the school counsellor culture from the west, immediately!

My mother has been a government teacher for 25 years now. She tells me, government institutions do not have any posts/vacancies for psychologists/counsellors. Understandable. The government has numerous responsibilities with India being a huge nation.

Although private schools can incorporate the model in their institutions, if mandated by the government. They can even afford that!

If you wish that your private school had had a mental health counsellor, you can sign this petition: Every Private School Shall Employ A Competent Mental Health Counsellor, Right Away

Collectively, we MUST accept that a counsellor in every institution is the need of the hour. The more we delay this, the more broken generations we are raising up.

It’s a cycle. It won’t stop. Mental health professionals exist for a reason, after all. Save your future generations and sign this petition now.

Have any suggestions? Email me on thatcandorgirl@gmail.com or leave a comment below. I'll get back to you about it!

Television: Boon or Bane? Was TV Actually the Idiot Box?

If you grew up in a middle class family with one set of television placed in the living room, you would be pretty familiar with the term ‘idiot box’. Although, you might be surprised to know that the term Idiot Box had been coined in the 1950’s itself!

It amounted to the fact that the non-responsive television box was capable enough to deliver a bulk-load of information from every niche to the viewers. It did not specifically cater to one set of audience, but distributed the content without giving an authority to the set-owners of what it was capable of.

Parents who disliked the fact that their children could have access to every kind of information hated this concept of multiplicity of available options.

If you were an avid TV watcher as a child, you might be familiar with the irritability this term amounted to. The moment things would get interesting on the screen, elders would ask you to go do something else or the classic “just go study”!

These were some of the frequent arguments put forward by the elders to make us stop from watching TV:

• Television makes you dumb and stupid with it’s unscientific facts and stories.
• Television makes you unhealthy because you sit on the couch all day long!
• The idiot box will make you blind if you watch it for more than xx hours a day!
• It disturbs everyone in the house because of the loud noise,
• Your sibling needs to study for a test, you should let them concentrate.

I remember an incident from my childhood when I was arguing with my parents to watch television after 10PM because my brother didn’t let me watch my favourites during the day. To my surprise, they agreed.

I was disappointed when Popeye was soon taken over by the home-shopping advertisements, even on Cartoon Network! A great troll moment by the idiot box indeed!

Fast Forward to 2020, a Flashback to the Good Old Days Before the OTT/Streaming Era:

My paternal grandfather loved watching news. It was a pleasure to sit with him and watch cartoons occasionally. Tom & Jerry used to be his favourite! An otherwise serious man would laugh looking at it sometimes.

Whenever an elder would ask me to go switch it off because watching the idiot box would make me ‘dumb’, I would quickly switch over to the Discovery channel! It was a fun ride to get the elders on board to accompany me.

          

Well, those days are long gone. Families no longer have common TV time together. OTT has taken over the cheerful living room hours and very rapidly so.

Also Read: Could the Internet have Dealt Better with Mental Health Awareness After Sushant Singh Rajput's "Death"?

Sanju’s Magic Pencil gets Replaced with Apple Pencil:

Toddlers these days are well-equipped with adequacy when it comes to operating on a device. My youngest cousin knew how to skip the Youtube advertisements when she was a 3 year old. To my surprise, whenever I handed over the phone to her with a nursery rhyme video, she swiftly moved to videos of girls playing with their cooking set toys.

Back in the day, Sanju’s magic pencil was the must-have stationary item for us. Today, children do not want to own anything less than an Apple pencil. Their demands have to be met by the parents regardless of the necessity.

Implications of the Spread of OTT on the Eldest Members of the Family:

The spread of OTT, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic has resulted in a big relief for the majority of us. The mass availability of cheap options to choose from is an extremely appreciated revolution.

However, the eldest generation of the house are the ones who didn’t approve of technology and its mass intervention in our lives initially. And they still happen to be the ones who are least accustomed to the trends.

They might be aware of what Netflix is, but ask them who Binod is, and they would probably wander off to their thoughts to think of a distinct relative that their hazy memory has no recollection of.

Desolation amongst the Elderly on Account of Unfamiliarity with Technology:

While each one of us has the liberty today to engage in our favourite content across various platforms, the eldest generation is not only devoid of that knowledge, but also happens to be increasingly irritated with the younger generations being so self-engaged.

And why wouldn’t they? Think of it this way: you have a fever and your eyes start to water if you stare at your phone/laptop screen for a while. The incessant sounds start to bother you and you can’t entertain yourself anymore while being in the bed.

Now your grandmother has started to lose her sight and hearing ability because of the natural aging process. She doesn’t mind resting all day. But would it not get lonely after a while when nobody in the house cares about it anymore?

Also Read: The Pandemic's Psychological Implications on Small Town People

The Self-Involved Generation:

For the last generations, children and grandchildren seem to have their limitless alternative worlds within screens. They often get so self-involved in a trend and with trying to keep up with it, that a lonely grandma in their own house doesn’t seem to bother their glued attention to the screens. And why would it? It’s so addictive after all!

The advent of technology is no doubt a blessing for us. But the tremendous amount of advancement means: one step ahead for us is yet another step backwards for those with a lack of will and ability to keep up with it.

It seems like no matter how different every individual was, television was the one thing common about family time but it has been taken away because of the OTT revolution. Everybody feels it’s more convenient to watch something personalised on their own screen, in their own rooms and comfort zones.

Hence, leaving the elderly generation as desolated from the rest of the tech-savvy generations.

What Can We Do Now?

For those of us under 35-40 years of age, TV is just another electronic appliance. For those above this age group, it was a revolution. Remember how excited every elder person in our house was when TV channels started re-airing Mahabharat and Ramayana?

It was initially because of the fact that the newer shittier soap operas couldn’t get produced anymore because of the lockdown. But it made them so happy!

The Dyanaro shutter TV was our home’s first set of television

The original first TV sets for every household have had a great emotional importance attached to them. Given that a television set was costly and could only reach households in the early 1980’s. 

My parents tell me that back in the days when television was a prized possession for a household, neighbours used to gather around the walls of the house with a set of television. It was basically enough to just hear the idiot box speak.

Reminisce with the elderly about the good old television days:

It’s always our generation’s number one complaint that we do not have anything in common with the older generations to sit and converse about. It’s not true! Had it not been for this smartphone/laptop in your hands… you would’ve been talking about things.

Find a moment to sit back with your grandparents and old parents to talk about their first TV moments. Very soon, you’re only gonna find this bit of information in books and chronicles written by authors. Not kidding!

• Did you know that most people recall their first TV moments with Indira Gandhi’s assassination?
• Hum Log, a beloved TV series determined the nicknames for most people born in the 1980’s and 1990’s.
• Yeh Jo Hai Zindgi, India’s first very own TV series, was very much relatable for almost the whole of India.
• Buniyaad, Katha Sagar, Nukkad and Malgudi Days were amongst others that used to be the favourite family pastimes.

Let them have a scoop of what the actors are up to now:

Just like you’re attached to Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Aniston, your grandparents would love to hear about the lives of their favourite TV stars. Give it a go, you might uncover a never seen before enthusiasm to connect with them!

You can also teach them how to stream their favourite TV shows on the smart TV’s or their rarely used smartphones. However, at that age it could be difficult for them to remember. Remind them from time to time or just do it yourself for them!

Also Read: Dealing With The Corona Virus Pandemic Anxiety

Did I miss out on something? Let me know about it in the comments section below. I’ll add it to the article!

Thanks for reading :) -That Candor Girl