Could the Internet have Dealt Better with Mental Health Awareness After Sushant Singh Rajput's "Death"?

Sushant Singh Rajput, a perfect-in-every-sense celebrity "allegedly" commits suicide and what follows is an online nation-wide outcry on the internet. It was mostly about how humans need to be more kind, open and shall speak up about their mental health issues.

If you were one of those people who realised that they need to be a better friend and make amends to people that you weren't previously kind enough to, this article is for you.

The internet missed out on a very important point: having a clear reality check about all the possible outcomes that could emerge out of this. Do so within your own limits, knowing that your actions will not unintentionally lead to unfortunate, unpredictable, irreversible traumatic incidents, of course.

Know how much to do, when to do and where to stop. Do not indulge in anything that could create more problems.

How? To understand this you need to analyse circumstances. I'll try my best, but it goes way beyond the contents of this little post and my own emotional intelligence.

Why do people with deteriorating mental health have a hard time opening up about their issues?

People who do not speak up about their mental health often do so because of a fear, that they wouldn't be understood. It is impractical for us to expect these people to open up ALL OF A SUDDEN.

Perhaps they did try to speak out before. Maybe that is what led to even more trauma for them: the behavioural reactions of an unprepared, immature friend/colleague/family member.

Even if they do it, are you sure you're capable and strong enough to hear what they're going to unload Horrifying unheard stories can be traumatising for both people, the one who shares, and the one who listens to them for the first time.

Elaborating with an example ahead

(Sexual Harassment trigger warning)

Your cousin finally opens up to you about an old sexual harassment experience that they underwent. This was the very first time they've opened up. They could be shivering, they could be fumbling with words to speak up. All too much for you to process and understand. After all, you've never seen that side of them. While you try to politely listen, you realise that you didn't go through any of those horrifying experiences.

It makes complete sense if you have no clue about how to react.

But, your cousin might have had to collect immense amount of courage to speak up. So it's very natural for them to expect a reaction.

Also Read: Dealing With the Coronavirus Pandemic Anxiety in 2020

You'll be doing more harm than good, if the reaction comes out wrong or even as slightly insignificant. They will have to gather even more courage the next time they do it.

And here's another instance...

What if YOU have been a subject of a similar unfortunate incident yourselves? What if, YOU never got over it yourself? What if them confessing these things lands YOU in a dangerous situation, by triggering YOUR unresolved traumas?

Both of you would be shattered at once if it comes out unpredictably, right? Who would be responsible then?

Before promising all your support to your friends, please know that you are also allowed to create your boundaries. You're only human. Recommend a doctor if you feel very early on in the conversation that your help wouldn't be adequate in some particular matter.

Why not effectively raise our voice instead, to demand a strong mental health support system?

We all have little cousins who are undergoing trauma as we speak and repost things online. No amount of kindness can replace professional therapy.

Try to persuade your own families first, about how visiting a therapist does NOT make one mentally-ill. It's a long way to go from here, to the governments actually making this a priority: mass employment of psychologists and counsellors in every educational institute, right from kindergarten.

Isn't that what's the norm in the western world? Isn't that a way more effective way to do something about mental health, rather than risking something that might lead to a multiplicity of unfortunate incidents?

Every human is not equipped with a perfect balance of kindness, because every person has their own unresolved issues. Human psychology is really, really more complicated than one would think. You cannot have an answer to everything. What you can do is, normalise the trend in your own houses, schools and colleges first.

Also read: Fiction was my best friend as a child, but it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time...

Yeah, that's step one. Second would be, visiting your alma-mater's staff, principals, HODs to tell them that they HAVE TO employ a counsellor for the upcoming batches, no matter what.

If you wish your school/alma-mater had a mental health professional, sign this link.

I take pride in belonging to a school dedicated to girls. Sophia school was my alma-mater for all 14 years of my school life. My mother had to fight to get me & my sister admitted to a good institution. Yet, I believe.. this school wasn’t enough because you got home to a community that wasn’t the same.

I wish I had an early access to a mental health counsellor. It wouldn’t have rendered me feeling hopeless in the cruelest of phases when I knew I needed a doctor but didn’t know how and whom to reach out to.

My mother has been a government teacher for 25 years now. She tells me, government institutions do not have any posts/vacancies for psychologists. Understandable. How can the government find one good counsellor when there’s no availability of good subject teachers.

Private institutions MUST accept that a counsellor in every institution is the need of the hour. The more we delay this, the more broken generations we are raising up.

It’s a cycle. It won’t stop. Mental health professionals exist for a reason, after all.

I cannot go back to my school with this demand because I’m emotionally weak. I don’t know who I would be dealing with, how kind the person on the other end would be. I will however, help you if you wish to take a stand. I will help you out with everything that I’m good with (including writing a very strong-worded letter to my own alma-mater).

Fiction was my best friend as a child, but it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time...

I read my first novel in 3rd grade. It was a thriller/mystery. Reading as a hobby has been in my family for at least 2 generations now. In fact, my 2 siblings and I have inherited the exact taste in genre as my father!

Our school library only lent books to students in grade 6 and above. But since I had an elder sister with the very same hobby, I got an access to a huge collection of fiction books, way more early than the other kids.

Scholastic book fairs became sorta religious for us. We even borrowed unusual number of books from our friends who didn’t like reading much.

And the only stall we visited in our small town’s annual trade fair was: the book stall. Where else could you find a plethora of second-hand books at such cheap rates?

About a decade back.. my sister, brother and I wanted to place an online order for a few books from our favourite author that the three of us had been waiting to lay our hands on since ages! Mom and dad asked us to wait til the finals got over. But we couldn’t wait...

So we searched for pirated copies on the internet. We then sneaked into dad’s office and printed 3 novels that day! We got a big-ass lecture and (well-deserved) verbal thrashing for wasting so much paper.

My favourite author, Sir only-wrote-18-books-and-passed-away became a god-sent for an introvert child like me, who spent almost no outdoor time as an adolescent.

All of his books had a strong female protagonist as the lead character. These books took me to places and times that I had only read about in History and Geography books. The insane amount of detailing when it came to human psychology used to make me gasp with surprise

Unlike most kids, by the time I was in 9th grade, I knew what Multiple Personality Disorder was. I never gave another genres a serious try. They weren’t just worth it after I’d swam in the murder-mystery-fiction waters.

I always had my head in the clouds growing up, living in a parallel universe. I’d be sitting in the school bus dreaming about going to a school, very different than mine. Where there was sub-par infrastructure and much more cooler people around.

I wouldn’t call it all bad, because at the very young age of 9 years, I had planned a novel with my two best friends. We divided the tasks: who would write it, who would be doing the illustrations, help us get it printed and distributed, and what not!

Also Read: An Open Letter to My Parents for If & When I Get Married

While getting over my very first SO after a non-consensual breakup… every time I had an emotional outbreak and felt like reaching out, fiction helped me become strong and not do it. It took a lot of self-control… almost to the brink of insanity. I’d tell myself that he’s dead, so I can’t do it.

Planned a funeral in my head and everything. Crazy, right? I would not recommend it, even though back then it helped me not step back into a dangerous territory.

Confusing fiction with reality subconsciously became an ugly habit overtime. Every time I was scared of trying something new, I’d tell myself that I do not necessarily need to indulge in it, because life can go on without any possibility of me landing in a similar situation.

I am aware about this habit today, and it still creates problems for me sometimes. Running away from reality only makes acceptance difficult. It’s delusional. And it’s a lot of work to get my brain off that track even when I know I’m doing it.

Have you been in my shoes? If so, when did you realise you were doing it, and how did you get rid of it? Let me know in the comments below! :)

Also Read: Question: How Do You Define A Good Piece Of Art?

The Pandemic's Psychological Implications on Small Town People

Stressed from the home quarantine more than the actual virus itself? It makes complete sense if you're one of those wanting to escape your home. This feeling even has a medical term to address itself: Cabin Fever.

Because of this odd healthcare emergency, a huge proportion of human race has been confined to wherever they were, at an extremely short notice with no preparation whatsoever! Ofcourse, with no exception to toxic houses and relationships.

What is Cabin Fever & how real is it?

Had we been given enough time to deal with the situation, some of us would've preferred to be elsewhere. But what's done cannot be changed. You didn't have enough time or a prior understanding so do not feel sorry about it and maybe try to get a deeper understanding of the concept.

Why is living indoors with the people we love so difficult?

If you feel a claustrophobic emotion with your own loved ones, and feel like walking out of the 4 walls after every single fight with a cohabiter, it is pretty normal. Even those couples who have been happily married for decades are experiencing constant exposure to negative energy around them.

Why? Well, largely because most of us used to keep ourselves surrounded with a work environment including daily commutes to work places, having a social circle interested in the same hobbies and leisure activities like us, etc. But now it's all taken away from us!

That is one explanation or a meaning behind our heightened irrational decision-making & incapable coping-mechanisms while staying indoors with our families, friends and spouses. Often leading to undesired clashes because of the minutest issues. We even end up feeling sorry but the chain of reactions doesn't seem to be in our control.

A major shift in our societal structures:

When it comes to communication, man definitely overshadowed all the other species. But that doesn't resonate with the present times because for most of us, we always had an option to walk out whenever our mental state gave us any hints.

My theory is that in some certain civilisations man moved too fast with the advancement of civilisation so much so that he has forgot how to behave in a social setting. This is especially true for the modern Indian families hailing from small towns.

Let us understand the concept with 3 simple steps:

1. A gradual process of change

If you're in your 20's, you might've witnessed the trend shifting from joint families to nuclear families in your own houses. As every generation separates itself with an illusion that everything around them is exactly how they want it, there is a multitude of resulting factors.

The positive: We can allow indulgence in things that weren't previously allowed. Even something as little as what you wear. For instance, my entire extended community wears traditional Indian wear at home & have always wanted me to, too.

Also Read: Could the Internet have Dealt Better with Mental Health Awareness After Sushant Singh Rajput's "Death"?

Being in the comfort of my own home, my parents do not force me to do what I don't want. They even allowed me to change my city, drawing criticism from the community (how can you let your girl be free, yada yada yada).

I had the liberty to liberate myself from the viewpoint of my own community, neighbours, etc. Alas, that's not the reality on ground but just a result of disassociation from it. Simply because I could!

2. The immediate change

As humans became more and more disconnected to their own tribe… BAMM! Governments across the planet lock them down with these very same people that they cannot even relate to anymore.

Ofcourse, there's no window to escape with schools and colleges being shut down, jobs getting taken away, lack of ability to cook our own meals in absence of movement of our house-helpers, etc. So many of us had to move back to our (comparatively regressive) hometowns.

The very same thing we disassociated from is now once again being thrown into our faces with a 24/7 exposure!

3. The result

A pan-human mental health crisis occurring primarily in societies that underwent massive changes in the original societal structures.

For instance, if you never felt comfortable about the regressive views of your grandparents or even parents in some instances, being away from home made it easier. Lack of direct interaction was your number one resort to cut off those triggers.

Also Read: An Open Letter to My Parents for If & When I Get Married

What can I do about it now?

Constantly remind yourself that you're an active participant of several future research papers for mental health professionals. Experiencing behavioural/personality clashes with yourselves or those around on a mass scale like this doesn't happen every now and then. 

You have an opportunity to make the most out of this rarest of the rare humanitarian crisis. However you choose to deal with the situation now can create history. Yes, YOU have the power now.

In a scenario where we are losing our jobs, it has become empirical for us to improvise on the plans. A lot of things are going to change and won't be the same as they were before.

Choose wisely about picking up a track for your future

Keep updating yourself with the news and affairs of whatever industry seems the most relevant to you. You belong to an era that would go in the history books of sorts so make the most of it by being innovative in your approach.

Even if those plans cannot be implemented now, indulge yourself in the long and tedious procedure of collecting information, planning & strategy. I understand that it could be difficult given the scenario at home, but you gotta give your dreams and aspirations a go.

Make it a now or never situation. Goodluck!

I am running an online campaign #BreakTheStigma to collect signatures from people who wished they had a mental health counsellor in their schools. Contribute by signing the petition here.