I Meant It When I Said I'm Leaving The Title Empty!

Can you recall the last time you read a funny statement, in a not so funny, but very very serious piece of text printed in commercial ink, on a paper?

I do. It was yesterday.

After MONTHS.

Now, can you recall the last time a meme made you LOL when you were actually pretty depressed?

Woah... all the time, right? Probably the very last thing that happened before you stumbled across this long ass post. Hell, our feeds are flooded with memes about memes being our saviours. Now, let us talk about that part in the last paragraph where we normalised a severe problem- depression. What's there to talk about? Well, a lot.

Few years ago, back in high school.. an 8th grader, couple years junior to us committed suicide. That doesn't sound unfamiliar or strange if you think about it, right? No matter what school you went to. It's SO common. While I did not know that junior personally.. I can recall a not-very-old incident of a close uncle, my father's childhood friend and business partner for decades, haven taken his life. It reminds me of a statement made by a teacher when the case of that junior was still afresh.

India desperately needs to borrow an element from the western culture.. that of having psychological counsellors in all of our schools and institutions. And they gotta be efficient in their work!

(Pun time: pls no caste reservations for this job profile pls haa GOI!)

It's a need, long been neglected. That was years ago and I can only marvel at the foresight of the woman.. now that I've grown up and know what she was talking about.

All of us happen to know somebody from our immediate family or friend circle having at least ATTEMPTED it. It's the second leading cause of death in our generation (15-29 year olds, as per a WHO report, dated August 2018). Mind you, this takes into account ONLY the reported SUCCESSFUL suicide cases, given the stigma around this cause.

As put forward by Yuval N. Harari, human being is already on the path to that future where we would be able to control how we feel, by having done enough progress in the field of biochemistry. But that is a long, long way to go, at least for being accessible to each one of us. So, definitely, relying on the scientists for this would not be a great idea, at least for now. Sure, we've got plenty options now from the medical field. But-

1. Not everybody is lucky enough to get recognised and counselled.
2. It needs constant supervision (lack of which, generally, has driven them to this point).
3. Why make our bodies a slave to these induced hormones. It is known to drive some of us to the point of no return.

Take that random girl's comment that I came across on a purely visually aesthetic music video on YouTube, as an example. She wrote how it was a typical boring day listening to it, on acid with her pals & how her previous generations would experience kaleidoscopic and sexual blast on LSD. From the looks of it, she was probably on it when she wrote it.

Our societies, relationship with peers and families are going through massive transitions. If you or your (grand/)parents have not already experienced it, you SOON might.

(Well, if you hadn't noticed already.. "Dysfunctional Families" is now a Netflix genre!)

It is bound to have psychological repercussions, and there is no escape. You could however, learn how to deal with it in the best possible way. You could seek help (professional or from your circle) but in absence of that, which generally is the case.. you have to do that yourself.

There is no point in dwelling over the agony or observations that nothing is working in your favour. There is really a very slight possibility, if any, that you will not make it through, after having given your best, and then some more.

Yuval also pointed out in his masterpiece of a book, about the electronic algorithms that have taken over our online behavioural traits. Mankind has had a history to approach priests and astrologers to know if a partner is (/not) good for them. Then came the theory of trusting your heart, feelings and instincts. Soon the electronic algorithms will know us better than we do, even biochemically.

But what choice do I have now? In this very moment, how do I tell if I should be friends with this person? The answer is EXPERIENCE. You'll make mistakes. A lot of them.

"One of the patterns of mistakes I have learnt from is, realising everybody around me will not be able to help me out. It is the hard truth, but nobody owes it to me. I cannot blame them for not being around. That does not necessarily make them bad friends. Perhaps they are dealing with a battle themselves in that moment. I have to deal with mine and learn to not hold it against them. Each friend could be a different kind of a friend (but it should be a good different kind). I do not have to tolerate every person around me in my moments of vulnerability, even in the name of friendship."

Not every friend or acquaintance is good for me.

I might have to be that person saying NO in some cases. It is very essential to root out the negative friends for our growth and stability. Friendship HAS TO BE a 2-way thing. No ifs and buts. By observing patterns, we've to learn what is best for us. It requires some people to hit rock bottom before realising some essential lesson themselves. Do not beat yourself up about it. Specially when in a severely bad phase yourself, do not indulge with the negativity around you. It is possible for it to go either of the two ways- healing for the both of you, or just the opposite.

"Know and act upon what your instincts tell you. Are they really worth losing your mental peace about? Are they around when you need help? That will help you in deciding whether or not to stick around every time they cry help. And honestly, if that is the one time they're around, SHUT.THEM.OUT. right f***ing now!"

I know I keep mentioning my Nani every now and then. She is a really old woman. I would not say age-wise.. because people do live up to their 90s. She is nearly 2 decades younger but I have seen her age like anything after my Nana passed away. Watching her slip into a depression has taught me that even the strongest of us lose a hold of ourselves sometimes. But here is a little something that this terribly sad incident made me experience. My Nana was a happy person, despite an incurable, indisposable termite residing with them in the house. He asked us to eat healthy and do yoga. I never took it seriously. To honour his memory, I initiated one of them, and my inner self has never been more at peace than now.

Take some off-screen time.

I wrote this piece of writing, on paper. This is the first time I have done it for a blog post. Although I would admit, one reason I did it is because of the shitty Mojave OS update that would not let me use my laptop without plugging in the power adapter at all times.. (for the love of your reputation as an almost $1 trillion company.. FIX IT, TIM!)

But anyway, it ended up saving me a lot of time, and was soft on my eyes, unlike the uncomfortable mind-numbing hours of editing on screen. It gives you time to indulge in activities that you used to love pre technology era. That excitement has got submerged by the hundreds of thousands of miles of scrolling that our index fingers have been doing over the years. Take social media detoxes every now and then, if not entirely and forever. How ironical, I made you read such a long post on a screen. But I'm going off now! Wait, before I post a link to this on every platform! xD

The Best Trip I've Ever Been to: A Decision Taken in under 5 Minutes!

Do you happen to know somebody who did fairly well in their lives in almost every sphere- be it excelling in school or recreational activities, from financial to familial responsibilities? Without question- yes.

But very often, we come across successful people that struggle with mental health issues and it comes as a surprise to us, doesn’t it?

Most people believe that managing to earn a successful high-profile lifestyle might be the key to happiness. But let’s get real- we’re living in the 21st century. The truth is that beneath this facade often lies a grim reality that gets overlooked.

Success and 'having it all' does not always mean happiness

So what is it, that humans are seeking to stay happy and content with their lives?

There’s no one answer to this question, because every person and their circumstances could be very unique for us to decode. What we do know is- people need to detach from the materialist worldly expectations from themselves and their loved ones.

Often, the things that cause a web of unhappiness- unintentional invalidation by the loved ones themselves. Questions like- ‘What’s wrong? Why don’t you snap out of it?’ - only make it worse.

The best decision I've ever taken in under 5 minutes:

Last year I was visiting my friends in the city of Indore. The entire year before this visit had been a difficult time for me. I had just lost a seat in Delhi University for a masters programme that I’d always wanted to get into- by 4, FOUR marks!

Besides that, losing my grandfather to his third heart attack, confusion between preparing for UPSC and getting a job, witnessing the person closest to me (my maternal grandmother) break down- it was a bad time.

The Indore trip wasn’t a planned one. But I’ll tell you what- it was the best decision I’d ever taken in under 5 minutes! On the 4th, and the last day in Indore, we spent an evening at Pyra Healing Garden- located at just 35 kms away from Indore, the Cleanest City of India.

And believe me when I say this- IT WAS MAGICAL!

A sense of positivity:

I only spent 4-5 hours at the retreat and the relaxation experienced isn't comparable to any other sort of therapy that I've ever had.

• Yoga is known to neutralize respiration, energy and vitality.
• Psychiatrists are helpful when you need to clear your overburdened headspace.

But would any of these help you when you are involuntarily stuck in a bad place? Clearly, no.

This is where Pyra helped me out. Everybody suggests you to go for a vacation when you need a change. And the reason behind my Indore trip was just that- a change. Visiting Pyra was just the cherry on top.

When we first made a stop at the retreat, it was because it lay on our way back to Indore from Mandu. We’d been travelling for a while and just needed a refreshment break.

Something that you’d never expect a regular travel refreshment break spot to offer, while in India!

The place had hundreds of plants and blooming flowers in every shape and size. The clock ticked 7, but it felt like 6... in the morning! Since it was the month of monsoon July, we were still amidst clouds hovering with us! Right in front of us was a series of 2 sets of plateaus, adjacent to each other at just the perfect picturesque angles!

The refreshment break that was supposed to last for an hour, turned out to be a good 5 hour stay. Two of my accompanying friends and me, took advantage of the rather peaceful suburb solace that we’d unexpectedly landed ourselves in! During our entire trip, we hadn’t stayed this quiet, yet relaxed at the same time.

The aura at Pyra is relaxing and rejuvenating for tired souls that do not even realise how tired they’ve become by trying to suit themselves in the rushing 21st century lifestyles.

Have you ever unexpectedly come across such mindful retreats while traveling? Let me know in the comments section below so that I can visit them next!

Also Read: A Weekend Get-Away Destination near you that’s Not on Every College Student’s 'Places-To-Go' List: Churu

A Weekend Get-Away Destination near you that’s Not on Every College Student’s 'Places-To-Go' List: Churu

Whether you're planning to escape Delhi's noxious air during Diwali or making your wedding and family functions legendary, we've all been questioning if there is a way to discover a weekend get-away destination that is offbeat!

Continue reading this article if:

• you're bored of celebrating every New Years’ Eve with your friends in a hot-n-happening club (that one of you managed to get coupons for, but didn’t turn out to be as hip as you thought it would),
  
• you're not sure if Humayun’s Tomb can accommodate any more of fashion bloggers for weekly photoshoots, (ooh, I’m pretty sure your followers are bored of that as well!)
  
• you can’t wait to organise a bonfire with your best friends (but the empty plot besides your grandma’s house doesn’t provide you with much privacy)

A glimpse of something unique for those who cannot wait to explore the unexplored: Churu

The royal state of Rajasthan boasts of forts and palaces at every turn, and Churu is one of the towns that falls off the tourist map. What makes Churu stand out is- no kings and queens have ever resided in this town, yet it has a fascinating history!

Also known as the Gateway to the Thar Desert, if you can look beyond the dust and the grime, you will find yourself surrounded by history, beauty and heritage.

The rich history of Churu: A bustling merchant town!

Back in the 19th century, the rich marwari seths traded in spices, textiles and opium and believed in spending tons of money on their homes (read grand havelis). These merchants travelled across the world and brought back stories of what they experienced, depicting them in paintings on walls across the town.

As they got richer and richer, these merchants moved their business to Kolkata, New Delhi and Mumbai, leaving their ancestral properties behind in disrepair.

Today, walking through Churu is like walking through a ghost town! There are more than 100 havelis within a short radius, each grander than the other. The paintings and frescos these havelis embody depict the lives of the owners and new concepts of that time like: travelling in a train, driving a car, etc.

If your idea of a travel involves knowing the people, their story and culture, enjoying your own space in tranquil environs and simply adoring monuments, Churu is a gem for you. Walking through the lanes of the town, one can easily imagine it in all its glory, when it would have been the bustling centre of commerce.

The Churu experience:

The Churu experience is about the people – the merchants, the artisans, the farmers, the workers and commoners like us. Knowing these people, their stories, their lives is what makes it special.

For someone who appreciates antiques, even the doors of some havelis are something you can spend an entire day looking at and adoring! Grand in scale and in terms of beautiful engraved work on them, no two doors are ordinary or alike.

European influences in architecture and design peek from every corner here,
telling tales of the owners’ travels and lifestyle.

If you are more than done trying to relate to the unreal world of kings and queens, step back in history and come visit the town of Churu that man built and thrived in. A bumpy 30-minute drive takes you towards the sand dunes, where the only thing missing is a bonfire.

Then there is Malji Ka Kamra: made as a guesthouse to Maharaja of Bikaner by Malji Kothari – one of the richest Seths of Churu. The place was originally used as an entertainment house for visiting dignitaries with artists being called upon from all corners of Bikaner riyasat. 

Malji Ka Kamra, the only heritage mansion resort of Churu is over 100 years old!

One of the rooms still carry an original painting of Ganga Singh Ji, the ruler of Bikaner – who used to stay in that particular room during his frequent visits to Churu. Malji would get it demolished and reconstructed til the time he was happy which explains how it took 17 years to construct it! 

This palatial place was gradually decked over a period of seventeen odd years to make it look like an eclectic party venue hosting ballroom waltzes to performing arts for the elite merchants, the royalty, the British officers and whoever was the then toast of the region.

The haveli’s pillared exteriors, a fusion of Italian and Shekhawati architecture styles embellished with stucco work of beautiful figurines of men and women, many in various dance moves pose as ample evidence of the place’s bygone revelry.

The place gives a sneak peak about the lighter side of the Seths, usually
perceived to be workaholics, with their nose always buried in ledger books. 

Malji Ka Kamra looks like a 19th century venetian villa with a unique combination of an Italian-style-construction, combined with ingenuity of local architects. It is now a restored heritage building with 14 rooms and suites, carefully preserving the elements of the original architecture.

The lavish property aims to recreate the ambience of yore, to host modern-day travellers and introduce them to a region full of architectural relics!

The ornamental and grand structure has a Mughal styled main entrance door
which is a gigantic 30 feet high, tall enough for an elephant to pass through.

 

Covered with iron sheets, brass bars, iron spikes, iron chains and brass knockers, this door looks royal in every aspect, with paintings of various generations of Bikaner kings, Radhe-Krishna amongst others.

What’s more, there are jarokhas on either side of the magnificent door from where flowers were showered on to the welcomed guests!

Malji Ka Kamra on Tripadvisior

Discover the best of Shekhawati with your Churu visit:

Diligently restored following the same lines and look of a rang mahal, Malji Ka Kamra sports an unusual mint green façade. Visit and explore explore Churu, the least explored of the three districts comprising of Shekhawati, to find a slice of the real Indian experiences you’re looking for. 

How to reach Churu?

Churu is located at a four odd hour train ride from the capital of the county, Delhi’s Sarai Rohilla or Delhi Cantt railway station. The gazers window-view gradually changes to desert shrubs and to sandy dunes when the train finally pulls into Churu Junction.

Thanks for reading!

Also Read : The Best Trip I've Ever Been to: A Decision Taken in under 5 Minutes!